


found somebody new (it's time)

by suncts



Series: of all the lies i heard, [1]
Category: NCT (Band)
Genre: Alternate Universe - College/University, Alternate Universe - High School, Ambiguous/Open Ending, Angst, Attempts at humour, Break Up, Comfort, Developing Relationship, Emotional Hurt, Growing Up, M/M, Mark Lee (NCT)-centric, Moving On, Realizations, Strangers to Friends to Lovers, i still can't tag, mark is an asshole once
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-09-02
Updated: 2018-09-02
Packaged: 2019-07-06 03:27:11
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 5,978
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15877548
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/suncts/pseuds/suncts
Summary: When Mark Lee hears an all too familiar laugh, clear as a bell and just as beautiful, in the same coffee shop he's supposed to be having a date in, it reminds him of a past love and a mistake he never should've made.





	found somebody new (it's time)

**Author's Note:**

> well hello there.  
> this was written all in one go in the middle of the night so,,,  
> not beta'd and all mistakes are blamed on sleep deprivation !
> 
> also this is probably a mess.
> 
> and i recommend listening to because i had you - shawn mendes while reading  
> enjoy!

 

 

 

 

It was just in Mark’s luck that the one day he was running late to a date would also be the one day where the campus was the busiest it had been in months.

A quick glance at his watch told him that yes, he was still ten minutes late, and if he didn’t hurry up now there’d simply be another minute added to the time his date had to wait out for him.

****

 

Which they hopefully did.

****

 

Mark wasn’t exactly an expert at dates, at hook-ups, pretty much everything involving some sort of beyond-platonic connection to people. So it wasn’t rare for him that he got stood up, or that his dates left simply because he was a little bit (“10 minutes when you’re going to watch a movie is like half an eternity!” “Shut it, Jaehyun”) late.

****

So, yeah. It was safe to say that Mark wasn’t exactly expecting his date to still be there, waiting for him, but he hurried nonetheless. He was a man with manners after all. Or simply making his last attempt at saving his dignity. You choose.

****

Finally finding a clearing in between the mass of humans, Mark rushed through it and, a bit out of breath (He was slacking with the basketball training lately), at last made it to the little coffee shop on campus that he had recommended for their first date.

****

And boy, was he happy when he spotted a soft, pink-ish tuft of hair and a cute face frowning down onto a phone.

****

“Hey! Sorry I’m late, I didn’t know that we had some big thing going on today and trying to drag myself through all these people was such a mess, there were so many and most of them were rude too like-” Mark’s nervous rambling was cut off by arms snaking around his waist to pull him into a hug.

****

“Hello Mark, I’m happy to see you too, you look really good.” Mark swore to himself that it was the voice that made his cheeks heat up, that god darn deep-ish voice, and nothing else as he took a step back again and smiled at the other boy.

****

His date, also known as Na Jaemin, was not only a campus heartthrob but also the sweetest and most caring person you’d ever find in the entire universe. Mark still couldn’t grasp the fact that he had been able to land a date with the younger.

****

Which is why he reminded himself that for once, he really didn’t want to fuck this date up.

****

“Thanks Nana, you look…” good? No. Pretty? Sure, but not quite that. Neat?? Oh fuck the gay panic Mark, be confident for once. “Breathtaking. You look absolutely breathtaking.” Mark finally managed to get out, feeling kind of proud that he hadn’t taken the easy way out once again.

****

And, being honest, nothing else would’ve done Jaemin justice anyway. The boy looked incredibly bright with his oversized orange shirt, the flower-y mom jeans and his pink hair that was slowly starting to fade out.

 

When Mark looked up into the other boy’s face after getting over his shyness that made him fiddle with his phone, he was met with the warmest smile he’d seen in a while.

“Should we go in?” Jaemin asked then, and Mark would’ve rather taken a million math exams before saying No to that.

****

 

The thing Mark realized as he was sitting down and Jaemin had gone to the counter to order for the two of them (“I’ll take a cappuccino, what about you Mark?” - “Sweet Tea would be nice.” - “Sweet Tea for a sweet boy, makes sense.”), was that this date just had a different side to it than all his other, failed attempts of the past six months.

****

Because this time he was with someone he knew, someone he’d known for what felt like eternity, someone who had been his friend first before becoming someone of romantic interest. Mark knew what Jaemin liked, he knew he could trust the younger, he knew where he stood in life, all should be well.

****

 

That was until he heard an all too familiar laugh. Clear as a bell, high-pitched and nasal, but sweeter than all honey and sugar could ever be.

****

His immediate plan was to escape to the bathroom, to lock himself in a stall and hopefully not have to come out until the coffee shop closed, just to be sure.

****

It’s just that he couldn’t do that, because Jaemin was already making his way back over to their table again, and the soft smile on the younger’s face urged him to stay.

Okay, Mark, you can do this, he thought to himself.

****

But then there was the laugh again, and Mark, poor, naive, weak Mark made the mistake of looking into the direction that it came from.

****

 

First he just saw a tall figure, so tall he almost had to think of bigfoot. Then he saw the figure’s face, and the gears in his head worked hard to connect the face to the name Wong Lucas, to his friends sometimes Yukhei. The guy was in his English Literature class, and as far as Mark knew he was an amazing person to be around.

****

The gears that had worked so well a second ago came to a hard halt when Lucas’ figure stepped aside and revealed another, smaller person though.

Mark’s head didn’t even have to work to identify that person.

****

Because, and Mark still thought so, no one in the world but him knew those tan legs, that caramel blonde mess on top of the person’s head and that still so incredibly beautiful face better than him. He’d always spot this person, even in the complete mess of thousands of people outside at their campus right now. He’d always remember what to look for, what to try and hear, to find this person.

****

 

Because not even someone as forgetful as Mark Lee is capable of forgetting even the tiniest, most unnecessary detail about someone like Lee Donghyuck.

****

 

Thankfully, just before the aforementioned boy could turn his head and see Mark staring, Jaemin set down their drinks and Mark’s attention snapped back to his date.

Well, his gaze did at least.

****

Now, Mark isn’t someone that uses people. He isn’t a rude or mean or hurtful person by any means. And he had been so, so sure that he was over it. So sure.

****

_______

****

 

To explain, you’d have to go back to Mark’s junior year in high school.

****

Yeah, that one year everyone says is literal hell on earth. Ironically, for Mark it wasn’t quite that.

****

On the first day of school he’d gotten his schedule, had changed a thing here and there (“There is no way in hell I’m taking chem instead of physics!”) and as lunch finally came around, had taken his usual place next to Jeno at their ‘traditionally claimed’ table.

****

It was just same old, same old, sitting with Jeno, Renjun and now Chenle and Jisung, who had finally joined them at their high school as freshmen, and whining about how much they hated school already despite it having started just today.

****

That was only until in his very last class of the day, which was an actual class with actual education going on since Mr. Schiller just really hated his students, because almost halfway into the lesson, the door was opened a little too hastily and an out-of-breath looking boy with bright red hair stormed into the classroom.

“Is this Mrs. Carter’s class?” He managed to wheeze out and looked as though he had jumped out of a comic as he leaned onto the teacher’s desk.

****

Who, somewhat understandably didn’t look all too happy about the interruption.

****

“No, no you’re entirely wrong here if you’re looking for Mrs. Carter. Ask the secretary.” Mr. Schiller answered and cleared his throat to bring back everyone’s attention to himself.

“Shit okay, uh, thanks anyway!” The red-head responded and Mark had blamed it all on how boring the day had been when telling his friends about it, but he had simply burst out into laughter.

The cursing, the shocked look on his teacher’s face and just the overall situation had giggles building up in his stomach that Mark failed to keep in.

****

 

Which earned him detention. Of course.

****

 

But at least Mr. Schiller had told him to bring the boy to Mrs. Carter’s class, where said boy had received detention for coming in exactly 10 minutes before class was over.

****

So there they were then, sitting in detention with a supervisor that didn’t spare them one glance and Mark decided to take the chance and introduce himself.

It’s just that the red-haired boy beat him to it by extending a hand.

****

“Hey! I’m Donghyuck, I’m new here and a sophomore, what about you giggly boy?”

****

The smile on the boy’s, Donghyuck’s, face shone brighter than a million suns and maybe, just maybe, Mark knew back then already that this wouldn’t go well.

He shook the other’s hand and introduced himself anyway.

****

 

As Mark’s junior year went on and he was pretty much drowning in school work, only two things saved him from saying fuck it and giving up. One of those being basketball, he finally had gained a place on the team this year, and the second being ~~Donghyuck~~ his friends.

****

Within the first week that Donghyuck and Mark had spent in detention together, they had gotten to know each other quite well, had exchanged phone numbers and Mark even went as far as calling the red-haired boy a ‘friend’ when telling his brother Johnny about his days.

****

Meaning it was only natural when Donghyuck sat with Mark and his friends at lunch and that he joined them in their occasional sleepovers at Chenle’s place (the boy’s parents were filthy rich and their house was like, thrice the size of Mark’s and everyone else’s).

And it was only natural that all of them grew closer, somehow, because they all needed emotional support, Mark the most out of all of them.

****

 

And, lord, it was scarily easy for Mark to just let go around Donghyuck.

****

 

Soon the chaotic, witty boy became his support system, his shoulder to cry on when school was stressing him out and the voice that sent him to sleep when Insomnia seemed to have him in a chokehold.

****

Finally, summer break came along and after all of them had passed their finals, the group of friends went on a miniature roadtrip. Meaning Donghyuck’s mom (she had the biggest car, thanks to having four kids) brought the six of them to a little cabin in a national park nearby, where the boys would spend a week on their own.

****

They were all incredibly thrilled to escape the dull and boring town, but Mark would be lying if he said he wasn’t feeling oddly nervous about it.

****

The cabin they had booked was made up of four rooms, one big living room and three bedrooms with a double bed each, plus a little veranda out front. Jeno and Renjun had already placed their stuff in the first room closest to the door, while Chenle and Jisung had yelled out a reservation for the bedroom closest to the bathroom.

****

Which left Mark and Donghyuck to sleep in the bedroom at the end of the hallway, somewhat distanced from the other two bedrooms but with an incredibly view out into the forest through the big window.

****

Now, sleeping with Donghyuck in one bed wasn’t something Mark was new to. In fact, they had already shared a sleeping bag once because Mark’s own bag was ruined by Jeno’s new kitten and the redhead knew how his older friend’s neck and back got way too stiff from single mattresses.

****

 

But this time, this time Mark couldn’t ignore the strong nauseous feeling in his stomach. He also couldn’t explain it though.

****

 

As the first day went by with the boys just settling in, stocking up the fridge and exploring their surroundings a little, the oldest of the group tried his hardest to get rid of this weird feeling in his gut.

To his terror though, it just got stronger and stronger as dusk came along and it seemed to be time for bed soon.

****

While four of the boys were sitting outside around a small campfire they had managed to set up and while Donghyuck was taking a shower, Mark lay down on the couch they had dragged onto the small veranda, eyes fixated on the low flame of the fire just some meters away and eyebrows furrowing in thought.

****

“You know, if you don’t wanna sleep in a room with me, I already asked Jisung if he’d be cool switching.” The soft sound of a well-known voice made Mark sit up straight on the couch and avert his attention to the boy in front of him.

****

The boy that looked so incredibly soft, and vulnerable, so apologetic with his still slightly wet hair, the big sweater and the baggy shorts, pursed lips forming a small smile. And, wow, the sun’s setting rays of light seemingly set his usually soft red hair on fire.

****

Mark took a moment to realize what Donghyuck had just said to him (totally not because he was drowning in the other boy’s beauty. Totally.) and shook his head violently once he did realize it. “No! God, no no Hyuck no that’s absolutely not what I want!” He rambled on an couldn’t help the defensive hand gestures while doing so.

****

He really didn’t want the other boy to switch rooms.

****

The small smile on Donghyuck’s face almost immediately grew a little wider, but he still looked somewhat down, so Mark decided they should have a private talk in their room.

****

Grabbing the younger boy by his wrist and dragging him along to their room, Mark planned a conversation out in his head that would go oh so well and then the two of them would be totally cool with each other again for the rest of the trip and, hopefully, his weird gut feeling would vanish as well.

****

Well, that plan was thrown out of the window the second he closed the door behind him and immediately had his back pressed against it.

****

Donghyuck had him trapped and was looking at him with so much undefinable emotion in his eyes that Mark’s head went haywire. Maybe it was also the fact that he could feel the other’s breath on his lips. Or that he caught himself staring at the other’s own pair of lips.

****

Which he probably shouldn’t have done, because the next thing he saw- no, felt, were those exact lips on his, just softly placed there in a feather-light peck and gone almost as quickly as they came.

****

Now, any rationally thinking guy would’ve stopped, thought, and decided to have a conversation about this with the other person, in this case Mark’s best friend, involved.

****

Unfortunately Mark wasn’t thinking rationally, so instead he chose to place a hand at the back of Donghyuck’s neck and pull the younger back in for another kiss, this time harder, more eager, but still so soft Mark might’ve died.

****

 

Which he did, as soon as he felt Donghyuck kissing back, pressing his body just a tad closer to Mark and moving his hands to the older’s hips while in an awfully skillful way sucking on Mark’s bottom lip.

****

Mark felt electrocuted by that, felt as though he had just kissed a damn electric box instead of his very own best friend, but it was so damn good he never wanted for it to stop.

So of course, when said best friend finally pulled away after what felt like eternity but also way too short, the whine that escaped Mark’s throat was absolutely reasonable.

****

“Cute.” Donghyuck whispered, voice hoarse from the teeny tiny make-out session they’d just had.

****

Another quick peck to Mark’s lips and then Donghyuck moved to sit on their double bed, patting the space next to him to signal that Mark should sit down, too.

****

The latter, still way above all clouds in his head and somewhat stunned by what had happened, complied and sat down next to his friend, thoughtlessly bringing his fingers to his kiss swollen lips.

****

“So…” Donghyuck then started, eyeing Mark expectantly, smiling at him even though his eyes shone with fear. Oh.

****

 

It was then that it clicked in Mark’s head. When the gears finally set themselves in place and worked out what they couldn’t before.

His weird, nervous gut feeling was a crush.

Mark had a crush.

On his very own best friend Donghyuck.

His best friend that he had made out with for god knows long.

Oh.

****

 

Small fingers placing themselves on his thigh brought Mark back to reality, to his friend looking at him as though he was the one to sentence him to death or to eternal happiness.

****

Mark was glad to do the latter.

****

 

Long after the sun had set under the horizon and their campfire had burned down, the two boys moved out of their room again to get some water before sleeping, only to be met with knowing smiles and a “Don’t even dare to do weird shit in this house” from Renjun.

  


When senior year came, Mark and Donghyuck were an official couple of almost two months and Mark couldn’t be happier to call the redhead his boyfriend. Well, the ‘redhead’ wasn’t really bright red anymore, because Donghyuck had decided to try something new for his own junior year and had dyed his hair orange.

****

Meaning his new secret nickname from Mark was tangerine. (Sadly, it wasn't so much of a secret anymore when Jisung told on him and Donghyuck urged him to drop that horrible nickname)

****

Senior year for Mark was not even half as stressful school wise, but basketball training took up a shitton of his time. He was aiming to get a scholarship after all.

His best friend slash boyfriend however had a hard time keeping up with all the work that was thrown at him and the additional stress of getting the school musical’s main role didn’t exactly help.

****

Somewhat naturally, the stress, their busy lives, all of that piled up took a toll on their relationship.

****

 

Mark chose to spend his free time training or, occasionally, going to the parties that last year’s senior Jaehyun invited him to.

Donghyuck on the other hand was so busy he barely had free time but when he did have some, he intended to spend it with his boyfriend.

****

Admittedly, they could’ve worked around that by simply communicating in a better way.

But they were teenagers in love, and teenagers in stress, and teenagers in fear.

****

 

So when one day, Mark went overboard with the alcohol on one of Jaehyun’s college parties and ended up planting a kiss on the latter’s lips right as his boyfriend entered through the door, it wasn’t pretty.

****

Donghyuck ignored him for weeks after that, even Chenle and Renjun went as far as sending him death glares at lunch, though the two of them usually had a ‘zero-involvement’ policy.

It was safe to say then that Mark knew he’d fucked up.

****

But with his graduation coming up, him getting accepted into his top choice college that was pretty damn far away (“Hey Hyuckie, it’ll be okay even if I’m far away, right?” - “Duh, you big doofus. As if I’d let you go.”), somewhere along that line, Mark simply came to the decision that it’d be best for the both of them to just end things.

****

Which he did, immediately on the evening that he came to this conclusion.

****

He drove over to Donghyuck’s house, it was only 9 pm and he was sure the boy would be sitting in his room right now, watching some old movies.

Mark, a common guest at the Lee’s house, let himself in through the ‘never-locked-in-case-you-need-me-babe’ backdoor after making sure that Mother Lee wasn’t at home.

****

Apparently he did know his boyfriend of almost a year quite well, because he found the younger doing exactly what he thought he’d be doing. Sitting on his bed, watching old movies with Tom Hanks on his laptop while his room was only lit up by the lights decorating his walls.

****

Mark softly knocked on the door frame, resulting in Donghyuck’s orange faded hair flipping up wildly as he whipped his head into the older’s direction.

And maybe, just maybe Mark regretted this. Making his presence known instead of letting the boy sit there in peace, instead of not ending things at all, instead of talking it out.

****

His soon-to-be ex-boyfriends face was puffy, eyes still shimmering with tears he refused to let himself cry for hours, probably. He looked so small, so broken, and Mark’s chest constricted at the sight of it all.

But he couldn’t step back now.

****

“Hyuck, I…” he begun and sat down at the edge of the younger one’s bed, eyes fixed on his hands sitting in his lap.

****

And he apologized. He apologized for what he had done to his boyfriend, for kissing someone else maybe, but mostly for so recklessly and selfishly breaking his heart even though deep down, Mark knew that he didn’t want to do that.

****

Of course he’d never tell Donghyuck that.

****

What he did tell the other boy was that he’d thought it better to break up, to end things before they’d make each other come crashing down, that yes, he was sorry for the thing with Jaehyun.

****

The worst thing he told his once best friend, once boyfriend though was that he didn’t love him anymore. That he had developed a small crush on Jaehyun instead, not that he wanted to pursue that but that he’d feel it unfair to Donghyuck if he kept the relationship without feelings.

****

 

Even back then Mark was well aware that Hyuck saw right through him. The younger was always good at reading Mark, even the best kept secrets were too poorly hidden.

So when Donghyuck simply nodded, thanked Mark for his honesty and saw him out the door, the latter found himself in deeper confusion than he’d been in before.

****

And maybe it was that what led him to do a thing almost worse than lying to his ex-best friend slash ex-boyfriend.

****

“Hyuck?”

****

“Yeah?” Eyes so full of pain, yet so full of love, totally focused on him and him alone.

****

A step closer. “Can I kiss you one last time?” A shimmer in those strong eyes. A movement, registered in the corner of his eye. Bracing himself for the impact of a slap.

****

Instead, the soft feeling of lips pressing to his. An even softer hand cupping his cheek. A taste of salt.

****

And then, goodbye.

****

_______

 

 

Two years later and Mark knew he wasn’t over it. It had dawned on him at his graduation, it had formed as an idea in his mind when he moved into his dorm and it fully hit him at his first college party.

****

He had made the biggest mistake in his life.

****

Back then he’d been naive, stupid even, and hadn’t known what he wanted in life. But the realization came soon as he had noticed how cold and uneventful life could be without the literal sun next to him.

****

 

So now, sitting in that coffee shop and seeing the sun his frozen heart had been missing for two years, Mark simply didn’t know what to do other than to excuse himself to the bathroom, even if it made him feel awful, even though it was an asshole move towards Jaemin.

****

It wasn’t even that Donghyuck had cut off all connection between them. It wasn’t like they were complete strangers to each other. Mark was still in contact with Jeno, with Jisung and occasionally with Chenle, and they were all still in contact with Donghyuck as well. Renjun however never had seemed to forgive Mark for what he’d done to their mutual friend.

****

The connection to at least some of his old friends had him seeing one or the other picture with Donghyuck on it in his Instagram timeline. He could’ve simply contacted him again.

But Mark chose not to do so.

****

 

Now, as he was standing in front of the mirror and splashing water into his face, Mark tried regaining his composure, tried so hard to calm the nerves that were jumping around inside him, until a light hand on his shoulder made him jump up in surprise.

****

“You thought I didn’t notice you, hm?” There it was. The voice Mark had been yearning to hear for two whole years. The figure he’d always subconsciously search for in the crowd of students, it was both his and Donghyuck’s top choice after all and he couldn’t imagine the history genius that the younger was not getting accepted into this college.

****

As always, as it had been in the years that Mark and Hyuck were together, as friends or a couple, Mark just had to look at the other. It was as though his eyes were just magically drawn to the younger’s face.

****

Donghyuck’s expression was unreadable, as so often to Mark around the end of their relationship, but what Mark had last seen of the boy compared to what he was seeing right now, right in front of him, it was mind blowing, even though he’d seen countless of pictures with the other in them.

****

He had make-up on, something he’d gotten into during their last Christmas break together, and he looked content. Colourful. Vibrant, almost. Only the small shimmer in his eyes, the one that only seemed to appear around Mark, dulled it down a bit.

****

 

Another second that felt like hours going by, and Mark finally cleared his throat.

****

“I, uh. Yeah. Sorry.” He managed to mumble, eyes nervously searching for something else other than Donghyuck to focus on.

His heart rate was probably off the roof and his looks must not have been hiding that because the next thing Mark heard was a muffled laugh.

****

Donghyuck shook his head slightly while trying to hold in his laughter, before taking a deep breath. “Sorry, you just looked like the Most terrified puppy right now. Don’t sweat it, okay? We’re good!” He said, then, but Mark didn’t exactly calm down from that, so he settled on a simple nod.

****

 

The younger, good at reading him as he’d always been, extended a hand towards Mark then.

****

“Hello there, I’m Donghyuck and I’d love to start anew.” He declared, voice sounding sweeter than ever and a smile on his face that truly rivalled every star in the universe.

****

 

And they did start anew. After going back out and Mark profusely apologizing to Jaemin while promising to fill him in later, Donghyuck ordered a coffee for Mark with his phone number written on the cup, before leaving along with Yukhei from English Literature class.

****

Jaemin must have noticed Mark’s intense stare directed at nothing else but a coffee cup, because he tapped the other one’s shoulder and pointed at the coffee with a questioning look when he finally got Mark’s attention.

****

Mark simply huffed out an annoyed response. “He knows I hate coffee.”

****

 

He did, however, message Donghyuck almost immediately after getting home, of course not without explaining himself to Jaemin before that (“So that’s your ex?” - “Yup” - “Holy shit he’s beautiful how did _you_ get that guy?” - “Jaemin you asshat!”)

****

From that point on the two managed to build a friendship again, through slow baby steps, and getting back into their best friend dynamic as soon as Mark started his third year in college.

****

He was happy, he was content, but god, he was still so helplessly in love.

****

Mark and Donghyuck had made it a rule not to talk about the past, as if it had never happened, and to leave out most of their romantic lives at the moment too. It had actually been Mark’s request, simply because Donghyuck wouldn’t stop asking holes into him about Jaemin.

Sometimes though, Mark caught himself regretting it.

****

Like in moments when Donghyuck thought no one was looking and the expression on his face while apparently reading a message was so full of love, Mark felt like he’d choke on how much air constricted itself in his lung at the sight of it.

 

He desperately wanted to know what - who - made Donghyuck look like that, even though it wasn’t him.

****

 

Of course, there were exceptions to rules. And so it happened that Donghyuck asked how Jaemin was, or that Mark made a comment, a small remark about their past (“Hey, remember when I told you that you and I would definitely go down in history together?” - “Oh god yes that was the lamest pick-up line in all of eternity Mark Lee”) which they always ignored later on.

****

Because, Donghyuck seemed to have grown past the things he’d had with Mark, and Mark knew that Donghyuck was happy, which was more than enough for him.  

****

 

Until, one day, Donghyuck broke the rule.

****

 

“Hey uh, Mark?” His voice had sounded from Mark’s living room while Mark had been in his own room, searching for a particular textbook he needed for his next class.

****

“Yeah, what’s up?” The latter responded then, leaning on the doorframe and hopefully subtly admiring his best friend’s beauty, even in an outfit as lazy as a pair of way too huge and old as shit sweatpants paired with their college’s hoodie.

****

The younger sat up straight and suddenly Mark could feel a chill run down his spine. That was suspicious. The way he was fiddling with his hands and the sweaterpaws of the oversized hoodie too.

****

“You’re gonna come to my birthday party, right?” Donghyuck asked, voice quiet and small.

****

“Yes, of course.” Mark answered, obviously confused and still suspicious.

****

“‘Cause I want you to meet someone.”

****

Oh.

Mark pursed his lips and granted Donghyuck a small nod, before walking back into his room.

He didn’t want to admit it, didn’t want to face it, but he’d known for a while now that he, Mark Lee, for sure wasn’t the one Lee Donghyuck loved in this moment of their lives.

****

He’d just hoped to never have to actually be confronted with it. Had hoped to stay blind to it.

****

 

A week of moping went by for Mark, because god, even if he loved seeing his best friend so happy, it hurt. It hurt him, knowing that he could’ve very well been the one to make Donghyuck smile that much, if only he hadn’t been so stupid in high school.

****

Thankfully, Jaemin was by his side to provide a lot of dumb Disney movie marathons, a ton of sweets and hugs if needed. And maybe, just maybe, a kiss happened in between all of it.

****

In the end Jaemin promised to accompany Mark to the birthday party and to get absolutely shitfaced together afterwards. And for once, Mark felt the pain decrease just the tiniest bit.

****

Another week of dates-that-aren’t-dates, as Jaemin liked to call them, went by with Mark showing all the places he’d taken Donghyuck to the pink-haired boy and telling him all stories he could remember. And the other always listened, always kept his attention on Mark, and it felt so good.

****

 

The night of Donghyuck’s birthday party, Mark actually found himself anticipating it. He looked forward to a nice evening with his best friend and his good friend that he was probably even growing a serious crush on.

****

So when not Donghyuck, but one Wong Yukhei greeted them as the house owner, the pang in Mark’s chest wasn’t as bad as he’d thought it would be.

****

The party was already fully on, even though Yukhei informed them that Donghyuck hadn’t even arrived yet, because his boyfriend liked a dramatic entry and Mark was proud to say that it didn’t hurt to hear that from the other. The “Tell me about it” did sit on Mark’s tongue for another hour though.

****

And as Jaemin excused himself to greet some people and get some drinks, Mark simply stayed with Yukhei and intently listened to the tall man ramble on about the tiniest things about Donghyuck and maybe, just maybe it was then that Mark realized it was time for him to step back. To let go.

And he was so sure he could do it, he could stop loving Donghyuck and start loving the one boy that was with him through a hard time of his life but still seemed to like him, somehow.

****

 

Until he saw Donghyuck that evening.

****

 

He’d dyed his hair again. Fiery red. His make-up matched his hair, his clothing however looked just the right kind of underdressed for the high class make-up look. A nicely fitting black hoodie with a pair of ripped, black jeans that complimented his long legs so damn well, which Mark had always been weak for (“You know you’re like, 90% legs Hyuck” - “Yeah, and you’re 90% dumbass”), but most of all it was the little necklace he was wearing.

****

A roaring lion head dangled on it, and Mark couldn’t help but feel his heart swell at the sight.

Even when Donghyuck went on to plant a loving kiss on Yukhei’s lips, instead of his.

Even when Donghyuck introduced Yukhei as his boyfriend, officially now, not him.

Even when Donghyuck looked at Yukhei, eyes overflowing with love, not at him.

****

 

It wasn’t until 3 am, when a lot of guests had left and Donghyuck had snaked a hand around his wrist to drag Mark out to the veranda that Mark realized, he’d always love Donghyuck.

****

He’d never stop, but what he was capable of was letting Donghyuck go, letting him be happy.

****

“Hey, Mark?” Donghyuck’s voice sounded clear throughout the cold night, even with music still blaring loudly inside the house.

****

Mark hummed quietly, signalling that he was listening, not trusting his own voice.

****

“You know I’m happy, right?” His - no, The - redhead smiled at him, with the same soft shimmer in his eyes that Mark didn’t know if he hated or loved to see.

****

For this moment, Mark probably loved it.

****

“You know it’s time for me to let you go, right?” He responded then, voice quiet and sounding doubtful. But the smile Mark gave Donghyuck was sure. Sure on his side, reassuring on Donghyuck’s.

****

Both of them knew that, even if short-lived, what they had was special, would always be special.

Both of them also knew that in this life, in this universe, it just wouldn’t work out.

****

Donghyuck stepped closer then, resting his head on Mark’s shoulder and letting out a sigh.

“Yukhei knows, did you notice that? Or did you just let him talk?” He chuckled then, and Mark could feel the vibration of it in his shoulder still.

****

Mark couldn’t help but smile contently. Of course he hadn’t noticed, he wasn’t the most observant person and Donghyuck knew that all too well. It was his way, the teasing way, of reassuring Mark that they wouldn’t grow apart again, even if they’d never go back to what they once were.

****

Then, suddenly, he felt the others soft lips press against his cheek.

****

“One last kiss, right?” Donghyuck grinned, before making his way back into the house.

  


 

That night ended with Jaemin and Mark indeed getting shitfaced, talking about all things possible including the nature of their relationship, cuddling together on Mark’s bed and the latter finally feeling calmness settle within his chest, slowly replacing the regret he’d been feeling all this time.

****

Maybe he’d never be able to love Jaemin quite like he loved Donghyuck, but he was on the right path, and he was happy.

****

Because he had _him_ , and still has _him_ , even if it’s different now.

  


**Author's Note:**

> well well well. this was an emotional rollercoaster- at least for me as i was writing it.  
> it probably came out quite messy and i might just go over it again some day when i'm less tired, but this fic finally got me out of writer's block, so yay! 
> 
> i really hope you enjoyed it, and if you did feel free to leave kudos or a comment uwu!


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